A Church in Mourning

Oh, dear blog friends, we have suffered another loss. This time in our church family. I know that nothing I write here can truly honor all that he was, but I'm gonna give it my best shot!

David Shaver was a servant! A big man, standing eye to eye with My 6'4" Dear, with an even bigger heart! David loved God and loved teens! Crazy love that man had for teens!!! God's love!

David was what CD refers to as her "Colombia Daddy" when they went on the mission trip together in July '09 - he was her team leader. When she graduated to the Adult Bible Fellowship from high school, he became her teacher. (our church's Sunday school) For Cupcake, he was a leader in her life group each week. He always had a huge hug for the students that he ran into - no matter where he ran into them!

For us as parents, he was a big hug, a listening ear and a loving heart. Never judging, always loving...that was David.

He was also a huge part of the homeless ministry SOUL - faithful to head to downtown Dallas at 6:30 Sunday morning, rain, shine, freezing, burning, he was there!

God chose to take home a warrior and he will be missed!

The void that David has left behind will be hard to fill, but I know that God has already made those provisions - that's how He works. I also know, after going through grieving my David, that it may not happen overnight - and that's okay. God's timing is still perfect!

David was also a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan! One of our other youth workers is a Green Bay Packers fan and on Super Bowl Sunday, they both dressed in team colors....terrible towel, cheesehead and all! It was a hoot! His bride accompanied him to all kinds of football games; high school to professional!

On a personal note: Our family saw David yesterday. Apparently just before he passed away. We were walking into Subway and heard Cupcake's name being called. Looked over, and there's David walking with one crutch - he recently had knee surgery. We waited for him to walk over to us and chatted for just a few moments, we would have taken longer if we had only known. Talked about how he was getting better, all the medicines currently in his cabinet and just general conversation. Then, we all got our very special hug and went our separate way - he was going next door for a haircut.

I am humbled by the thought that our family was privileged to receive some of those last hugs. I am saddened by the loss of another giant of the faith. I am heartbroken for his precious wife of 26 yrs. My heart is heavy for the teens and young adults who are mourning. I feel for his parents, who have lost a precious son and his siblings that have now lost a brother.

David Shaver, you are loved and will be dearly missed!

On another note of loss; My Mom has learned that her baby brother, Donny, passed away recently. He had cut his family ties, so we only learned of his death after the fact. Please pray for her as she grieves losing her baby brother, now, too.

We may not understand God's ways, but I am learning that I can trust Him in all things!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow....like crossing paths with David Shaver.

God's girl,

Pamela

Hollywood, I am Amazed!

Spring Break didn't exactly go the way it was planned and I'm trying to be okay with that! So, to mix it up, I took Cupcake and a friend to see The Tourist at the cheap theater. I really did not know much about the movie going into it, other than Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie were the main players. Going out, I told My Dear that we were going to an action/romance but when we got back, I told him there wasn't 'that much' action since we can see more on TV on any given night!

I sat by myself, in the back of the theater (it was pretty crowded and there were not enough seats for all of us together except for the front, where I can't sit!) and it really felt like I was just watching a nice little flick in my living room. Very few surprises, a sprinkling of laughter here and there, the movie didn't draw out too much emotion! Kind of disappointing. Cupcake said, "It was cute!"

However, as I was awake once again from 4:30 to 6:00 this morning, some things were rattling around in my head....and I became SHOCKED!!! Would you believe me if I said there was NO intimation of sex in the movie? NONE!

What there was was a sweet kiss between the main characters, and a passionate kiss as part of a dream sequence! All they did was KISS!!!

I would not say this is a family movie for everyone, though....at the beginning there is an f-bomb, there is shooting and killing, there is a bit of suspense.

So, now, I think I really like the movie! The story-line is predictable for some but a really interesting twist at the very end! I may even watch it again once it comes out of NetFlix! Now that is daring!!!

Thank you, Lord, that we could go see a cute, fairly clean movie when plans changed.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow....

God's girl,

Pamela

This is not a formal review of the movie. I will not be compensated for monies spent, I just wanted to let my readers know that I saw a really nice movie!

An Honest Look at My Personal Grief

I have been hesitant to share with you just how I am doing. Why? Well, I don't personally know everyone that visits my little place on the computer, but mainly because I really want you to think that I am okay.

And I am okay, but I still grieve for the sweet young man that God chose to take home just four short months ago. So, it is the middle of the night here - 4am to be exact - and I am wide awake again with thoughts of David running through my head. There are still tears, but now there are smiles, too and I wanted to share some of this process with you.


This picture is still hard to look at...for nearly 35 years we have been a family of 5, now we are a family of 4 - and the fact that we buried the baby first has been a hard thing to come to terms with for me. I don't care that we were never promised as long with David as we got, I still wanted more. However, in my grief, God has met me with the promise that He knew how long we would have David - Psalm 39:4 NIV
"Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life."

I remember while growing up in Christian school, we would laugh at friends that said they had memorized John 11:35 but during these last few months, I have not laughed at that verse, it has brought tremendous comfort to my aching heart and soul. It simply says, "Jesus wept." It is the passage talking about Jesus friend, Lazarus, that passed away. I believe Jesus knew that He would raise Lazarus from the dead but He showed compassion and humanity for Lazarus family and friends in His tears. Then of course, the verse in Psalms 56 -Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll-- are they not in your record? My tears have been noticed by the God of the universe...and I rest in that promise!

I smile through the tears tonight as I think of the beautiful melody that David 'sang' when he would go to sleep and when he would stir in the middle of the night. I miss that music! I think of the belly laugh that he had, that literally shook the whole house. I'm thankful for the times that my children got to be part of that...like here:

A couple of weeks ago, I thought I was doing so much better. We have a friend who is having a baby and I decided to do some candlewicking for her baby gift. Only problem, it has been nearly 20 yrs since I've had my pattern book out and I really didn't know where to find it. I tore up the house looking for that book, and in the process came across a picture of me, David, CD and Mom on the Batman ride at Six Flags over Texas.


After finding that picture, in which I am holding David's hand, I sat and cried for hours! Those are the times when I am reminded that God is in the midst of my grief, in fact, His glory is greater than my grief. I have that on my cell phone, by the way. It looks like this: His Glory > my grief! I can say that because I truly believe Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I am blessed to have been David's big sister! I can see that through the tears and a smile right now. God has met me in my place of grief, and I have seen His Glory! I have the promise that one day, I will be reunited with David, in the presence of our great God! How awesome is that??? Philippians 3:20 NIV But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,

I'm still human, I'm still gonna cry, I still miss my baby brother. But I'm okay.

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow....

God's healing girl,

Pamela

Fasting by Scot McKnight - a book review

This book is part of "The Ancient Practices Series"

Fasting has always been such an odd Christian discipline for me to understand. I have previously approached fasting with the end goal of receiving something for my hard work - even though at the end of my fasting, I would not see that goal come to fruition. I have spent years absolutely STUCK on Isaiah 58, the Biblical chapter that talks about a fast acceptable to the Lord. STUCK!!

When I saw this book available, I got excited because Isaiah 58 has been in the forefront of my studies lately, and I really desired to see a viewpoint that was different than my own....I desire to see God's viewpoint on this subject.

Mr. McKnight defines fasting this way: "Fasting is a response to a sacred moment, not an instrument designed to get desired results."

Okay, so he just blew my thinking totally out of the water!

Mr. McKnight uses many references in the book, many from Isaiah 58 and other Biblical references. He has also done tremendous research on the subject, going back to writings of monks and early church leaders, i.e. St. Augustine, to contemporary authors as John Piper and Dallas Willard.

This is not just a sit down and read book - it is very educational and invites the readers to examine why we feel the way we do and to see how that lines up with God's Word.

I could sit here and type quote after quote that tugged at my spirit but I want you to read the book - not just take my experience for yourself. Mr. McKnight shows the benefits and dangers of fasting, not just the spiritual side. However, he always emphasizes that our body and spirit come together in a sacred moment to naturally fast.

I want to end with a quote that sums up the book, for Mr. McKnight and for me (since my heart and mind has changed through reading this), "Communication with God is, in my opinion, the intent of fasting."

I desire to seek God with my whole heart(Jeremiah 29:13), and sometimes that includes pulling my body into the seeking by fasting. I pray that I do it according to God's ways and not my own!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

God's girl,

Pamela

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”