May 23, 2010

Tears...A Guest Post

Through much prayer, I have decided today to let a friend of mine share her story with you, my dear blog reader. I hope that you will be touched! I also pray that if your story is similar, that you will please reach out...leave me a comment so we can be praying for you, find real life friends that will hold you up, both spiritually and emotionally, dig deep into the Word of God because He truly does have all the answers.

With no further ado....

The Tears of an Addict's Wife

How many times have I sat before God, crying once again because of my husband's addiction?

Since I've known about his secret life for more than half of our marriage, I would say that I have cried countless hours for me, my marriage, my children, but more often than not, for HIM!!!

Some time into this journey, the Lord revealed something precious to me, something so wonderful - MY TEARS ARE GOOD! After all, David says in Psalm 56:8 that God puts our tears in a bottle and keeps record of them in his book.
( Ps 56:8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? )

Now, I wonder if God has different bottles for me:
A bottle for tears cried in emotional overload as I married this wonderful man. The tears I have shed seeing him return home from a military mission. And the tears I cry as I snuggle deeper into his arms in the middle of the night, knowing he truly loves me.

A seperate bottle for the tears shed in sadness as I board a plane alone, leaving home for the first time. The tears that I cry when I am alone even now and miss being with my Mom and Dad, who live several hundred miles away.

A whole different bottle for tears of indignation at the sight of terrorism, both here and abroad, knowing that innocent lives have simply been taken by hate. Tears that fall when I truly consider those less fortunate than myself.

And yet another bottle just for the tears I cry for my husband and myself when his addiction is out of control. As you can see, I cry alot!

If God does keep them all in one bottle, just how big is mine?

The most wonderful thing, though, is what these tears accomplish; they cleanse my spirit as I come once again before the Lord and allow Him to smooth the hurt place in my life - truly broken and spilled out before Him. These tears give me strength to keep walking on the path God has for me. Most importantly, these tears show me and God just how much I still care for the man whose life I share.

Psalm 56:9 When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me.

I suppose that knowing all this, it really is okay to cry for my sweet husband. And I'll do so, as long as this battle is waged, for I know in the end, my God WILL win! LV


Praise God from whom all blessings flow....

God's girl,

Pamela

1 comment:

Rose H said...

Dearest Pamela,
It's been a very long time since I've read your blog, because of well, LIFE. But I want to thank you and your friend for sharing so intimately with us. God is in control and He knows best.
Missed you,
Rose