May 13, 2009

I Am Wrecked

If you would like to join other bloggers on this Wednesday walk, visit Lynnette's site for all the details.

I am doing this as a Wednesday's walk because this is a fresh memory that will linger for many years in my spirit. Oh, my friends, I am fully wrecked at this moment. I cannot yet say it is in a good way. However, I firmly believe in Romans 8:28! It says "ALL THINGS"!!!

A gentleman and his young son were found dead Friday morning in a park that my girls and I love to visit. They were members of our church, and even though we did not know them, we chose to stand with the body of Christ and attend the funeral yesterday.

Here is the link to the news story: Deaths at Ranch 111

Now, for my thoughts.

We did not personally know this family. We have only been a part of the same church since December and since Brody was his oldest child, we never had the opportunity for our paths to cross. Today, I am thankful for that.

I simply cannot fathom the hopelessness that would lead a father to take his son's life and then his own. Only God knows what was going on the in waning hours of Matt Knapp's life.

I listened intently as Matt's testimony of leading so many people to Christ was shared; first by his boyhood pastor that is now a staff member of our church, then as his brother shared his unique views of Matt's life, and lastly by our pastor who has known Mr. Knapp for a couple of years and watched him leading the young boys in Bible study faithfully on Wednesday nights.

Someone very close to me once attempted to take her own life. Even though it has been many years ago, I have found myself drawn back to memories of that time as God redeemed her precious life and has given her many more years to praise His name and live for Him. I would not have thought it possible, but I am even more thankful now that God spared her life than I have ever been.

The church was full....standing room only, truly. I know each one of us was comforted by the words of Mr. Knapp's boyhood pastor when he said, "Don't judge a whole life by the one act that ended it."

Romans 8:37-39
37.No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38.For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
39.neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I will choose to hug my babies a bit closer tonight. I will choose to be thankful for the precious husband God has given me. I will choose to love. I will choose to follow Christ.

What is your choice?

Praise God from whom all blessings flow....

God's girl, Pamela

PS If you have time, please read my previous post about my daughter's unexpected award given at her public school for her faith ! Thank you.


Verna said...

Very sad, that he thought life just wasn't worth it anymore.
They say there is a very fine line between sane and insane, and it makes me wonder if his mind just snapped.
Our prayers are with all of you in the area, and for his family.

Visiting from Lynette's blog,

Kristin said...

Oh no. Such a tragic situation for the family and friends left behind. I will pray for them all. It breaks my heart to know that he did not allow the Lord's plan for him and his young son to unfold as He intended.

Raisingarrows said...

Oh, how terrible. What a sad and tragic event. I have often wondered what makes people lose their grip on the Lord like this. So sad...

Linda said...

Oh this is so tragic. I am sorry that it happened. In this life there are so many things that we don't understand.

I pray for peace for his family, friends and church members,...and you Pamela.

May God comfort you today and may you rest in Him.

Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Holly said...

How truly sad!! Prayers for the family.

September said...


I know your heart must be reeling today... I know that mine would. I did appreciate the quote that your Pastor shared about someone's life.. so profound.
Hang in there... life is fragile as we know it,, and we can hang on to those we love and the Father above!

Sally-Ann said...

How very sad. There have been similar situations here in the Tampa area over the past week or so. It is always made more tragic when a young child is caught up in it all. I liked the Pastor's quote,"Don't judge a whole life by the one act that ended it."
Sometimes we do not know the "whys", that is where faith and hope play such a large role.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for such a tragedy that you have had to experiance. It is such a loss to the Christian world when one of there own takes their life. It sure leaves you questioning if you have stood strong for Christ...Hugs, Also wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hi and leaving an encouragment! I did have a very nice Mother's Day, however it was childless :( They are scattered all over right now, but all three girls called and so did our son-in-law! So it was blessed. What a wonderful award your daughter received...I am sure you were just glowing :) Shi~

Lilyofthevalley - Tanya said...

So sad.... :(

Praying the family will be comforted during this time of great sorrow.

Lynnette Kraft said...

Oh my goodness...that is SO sad! I'm sorry that this happened and I'm especially sorry for the wife and two younger children. Just seems so unreal that a man like him would do this - makes me wonder if it really happened that way. Well...that's something that God will reveal in time and I loved what that pastor said "Don't judge a whole life by the one act that ended it." He's right and that is so true. I hope that people who know him and love him will be able to remember everything else that he stood for.

I think it's wonderful that you're supporting this family with the rest of the church. I'll pray for them tonight - in fact right now.


Kathryn @ Expectant Hearts said...

Oh, that is tragic.. I"m praying for that family. A member of our church committed suicide a year and a half ago and I have just begun to know his wife. It's such a difficult journey...

I read yesterday's post about your daughter. Oh, God is SO good.. congratulations to all of you!!

Kate said...

This is what I needed to read:
"Don't judge a whole life by the one act that ended it."

Thank you!