May 6, 2012

Mother's Day....different

I have battled within myself for several hours just how I was going to write this post....and I've decided to take the high road! Years from now, if one of my precious girls comes across this blog, I want them to be proud of me - and that I did it different!

This is my last "Mother's" Day....not that I plan on going anywhere any time soon, but rather, the last Mother's Day that I choose to make the day for myself and my family - and it's not even Mother's Day. This is Cupcake's senior year and when she moves out of the house, there will be no need for me to fix them breakfast in bed! And I don't plan on doing it again for quite some time!

See, I realized many years ago that if I was going to be a Mom on Mother's Day, I had to take some things into my own hands. My Dear isn't really good at 'taking care' of celebrating birthdays or special days and I spent a few years frustrated; I was feeling like he must not care very much about me if he wouldn't be willing to take a moment of Mother's Day to actually make me feel special!

I did the whole pout and stomp routine, the silent treatment, the put it simply, I acted like one of our children! And that was not the way I wanted my girls to see me on Mother's Day!

So, I prayed!

The meaning of Motherhood is selflessness, right? I wanted that to be what my children saw, I didn't want to be THAT Mother....the one they remembered more for being selfish than selfless. So, I continued to pray! I realized that I could make the day what I wanted it to be....I alone could choose to be happy!!! My Dear and my girls are not responsible for my happiness - that is up to me.

Now, before you think the worst of My Dear, let me say that he is not perfect, but I bet most men aren't! However, he loves me well. He doesn't 'believe' in celebrating days that are only special on a calendar....i.e., Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, birthdays. He believes more in making random days feel special; he brings home pizza on a Wednesday evening, just so I don't have to cook and clean the kitchen! He invites us up for lunch on days off from school, just so we can spend time together. He takes us out after a big rainstorm to look at the swollen creeks - and that is a really fun adventure where we get to see different kinds of wildlife that we normally don't see.

Sometimes, though, I would really like those special days to be celebrated, and when the girls were small, Mother's Day was one of those.

So, God answered my prayer - and gave me wisdom instead of a more compliant husband or children!!!

About 10 yrs ago, I thought instead of whining about always being the first person up and not getting breakfast in bed on Mother's Day that I would take them breakfast in bed that is Mother's Day after all, and that means Mother gets to do what she wants, right??

That has become the tradition around here and coming upon this Mother's Day, I found myself looking forward to taking them breakfast in bed and made the decision that since this is Cupcake's last year of high school - really??? - that I would make this the last year to make them breakfast and take it to them in bed. Then, we figured out that Cupcake's prom is the night before and that CD would be moving her stuff back home that day from school.

The meaning of all that....neither of my children will be here the morning of Mother's Day! At first, I kind of kicked and screamed and told Cupcake that I didn't want her staying out all night 'cause the next morning was my last Mother's Day to fix breakfast for her. Then, I sadly realized I was being THAT Mom again.....hanging selfishly on to what I wanted of the day! Man, I am really selfish, huh???

You see, that is why I got up this morning and fixed Monkey Bread for my precious family. CD was up before I could take it to her in bed but Cupcake and My Dear were awakened by the yummy aroma of me carrying it into the bedrooms. I would say overall, it was a huge success.

Besides that, both of my girls have found an opportunity this week to thank me for specifically being their affirming words from my precious girls that I would not trade for anything - especially breakfast in bed!

I do still feel that Dad's should teach their children how to honor Mom, even on Mother's Day, but I can't change my sweet man, only God can do that if it is necessary.

I am loved and that is what matters at the end of the day. 

Praise God from whom all blessings My Dear, CD and my soon to be grown Cupcake!

God's girl, Pamela


Anonymous said...

Thank you for your message. You will surely have plenty of those special days you so longing for when Your Father will come to meet you when He has prepared that special place for you in His Garden...(Heaven)

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eliz said...

Very very well put! Thank You for sharing Pamela! I can so relate! My husband did change~ but it was 36 years later! I won't complain. It was between God and him, not me. His heart has softened. Praise God! :o)