Thank you so much for your sweet comments! Many of you have been married for just a few short years...don't worry, we are just getting started, too...and it was just so heartwarming to know what I already knew - we do not walk this road alone!
My congratulations to GrandmaKathleen and Karabeth...they have survived more than 30 yrs with their respective spouses - now that is commitment!!!
I love what Mrs. Mazza said, "...God has the power to use ANYTHING, to get his point across...a burning bush, a talking donkey, or a marriage cross-stich." This was a totally new perspective for me and I love it!!! Yes, He certainly got my attention that there was nothing I could do to salvage our marriage. Only He could do that!
I'm going to wrap it up now...hubs keeps calling while he is driving home from a clients and I can't think, type and talk all at the same time! And since I obviously love him more than y'all....well, gotta run!!! He is planning to take us out to look at stars tonight...how romantic can you get on a Saturday night!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....
God's girl, Pamela
January 31, 2009
January 28, 2009
A Broken Memory
I first wrote this blog a little more than three years ago as part of a memory meme. I don't know why, but last night I just really began to feel impressed to post it again today. My Dear and I have now celebrated our 23rd anniversary, we have a child in college and our baby is wrapping up her senior year of high school. The truths learned through this time in our lives, '94 & '95, continue to shape and mold our marriage and I fully believe that is what God desires! A quick glance back to remember where He brought us from but always looking forward to the path He lays out each day!
I pray you are blessed today and can see that ONLY GOD can resurrect a VERY dead marriage!
After 20 yrs of marriage, I have learned that most every marriage hits a brick wall within the first 10-15 yrs that humanly speaking, seems impossible to overcome. These times usually come when you have small children...and that adds a stress of its own! But, what I have seen is that God usually allows these times to grow us up into Him and into who He is calling us to be. Some of you know, though, it is really hard to walk through those times!!!
I KNOW WE ARE NOT ALONE!!! If you are walking through a hard time in your marriage right now, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Not only is God right there, holding you every step of the way, but a lot of marriages around you have walked through something so similar. If you need help, please search out someone that you can talk to and lean on in order to possibly save your marriage and your sanity!
I'm not saying that every marriage is salvageable...that is simply not true. However, God's grace is there just for you to hang onto, no matter what happens in your marriage and your life! Knowing just what we have walked through, I have a soft spot in my heart for marriages and I would love to see them all continue...but I know that is not always possible. No matter what is going on in your life, you are in good hands as long as you are in God's hands!
Okay, now for my memory:
In the mid-90's, God began to reveal heart issues between dear hubs and I that we could either ignore and kill each other, or deal with and continue to love one another...and did it ever get rough to actually live in the same house!!!
Christmas 1994 - the girls were 4 and 1 and life seemed simple, not easy but simple. I knew what our days looked like and I loved being a Mom of young children. However, like I said earlier, God was beginning to reveal deep heart issues...and it hurt.
By late '94, I had realized that my dear hubs was running from the hand of God! I was also beginning to realize that my marriage could not survive without leaning on God and His word! One Sunday morning in January '95, I was getting me and the girls ready for church and hubs was sleeping soundly in our bed....and I do mean soundly! It bugged me that we were struggling to make it through the days together and yet he chose to sleep on Sunday morn...and that is where I found hope - in the community of church and digging corporately into God's word.
We lived in post housing at the time, a 1940's duplex that had a long hallway from which you could look from one end of the house to the other. Standing at my bedroom door, I could look down the hall and see all the way to the outside wall of the dining room with no obstructions. On the outside of the dining room wall was a small storage room connected to a carport. I know this is a boring description but if you can follow this, you will understand just how big God was on this particular day!
On this particular Sunday in January 1995, I was walking from my bedroom to the girls to begin getting them ready for church...only a few steps away....but before I could even get to their door, I watched as our wedding cross-stitch, made by my Mom, literally jumped off of the outside dining room wall! I heard the crash before I could move my feet down the length of the house - a very loud crash for a simple 8x10 photo frame! There was a picture right next to this frame that DID NOT MOVE at all! To this day, it is still a mystery to me how this particular decoration simply fell off the wall! We were all on the opposite side of the house and no one, not even the dog, was in the dining area.
When I made it to the mess on the floor, I realized that the glass had shattered into little tiny pieces....lots of them! I simply sat down and cried!!! The cross-stitch itself was fine, only the frame was broken...but it was not just broken, it was shattered. I thought, "This is what has happened to my marriage. Our marriage isn't just broken, it is shattered." The reality of that broke my heart into those same little pieces! As I sat there in my tears and sorrow, I felt God say, "Yes, this is what your marriage looks like and there is no way that you can just glue the pieces back together. But I can!!!"
Then God gave me a verse. It had been used in our wedding, along with many others, but now that we had been married for 6 yrs, it started to make sense in living daily life...not just a flowery verse at a wedding.
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.
As I went through that week, I found myself meditating on my verse. As a young bride, I had heard that verse warning others to not try to tear apart our marriage. That week, I began to see the verse in a different light...let man not separate. This didn't just mean others, it also applied to the two of us!!! I began to realize that if anyone could tear apart our marriage, it was us!!! Our selfishness, our past wounds, our stubborn pride! Those were the things we needed to guard against...things of ourselves!!!
Present day - we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary on Dec 27!!! I love this man more now than I ever could have imagined on our wedding day! It is truly a privilege to be his wife!
The road to this point was NEVER easy!!! We have both had to learn to give up those icky parts of our hearts and let God bring in the new attitudes that He had for us. Hubs now attends church with us and while it is not always perfect, he tries very hard to be the spiritual leader of our home. I could take the easy road and tell you what HIS problem was that almost destroyed our marriage but that would not be fair....he was not alone in that! I had some really deep wounds myself. Some places in my heart that God had to expose and heal and boy, did that hurt some days!
WE ARE NOT PERFECT!!!! We still have days that we struggle with those old hurts and attitudes! We still argue...sometimes selfishly! Please hear me, the only way that we could have made it here is with the hand of God guiding our steps! With God holding our hearts and our hands, we can give each other the grace needed to make it through those rough days!
The cross-stitch??? Well, I never did put it back together! It resides in one of those boxes in the garage. I know it is there!
Would I trade those struggles??? NO WAY!!! It is during these struggles that I have learned to lean even more on the arms of our Lord! It is because of my imperfect humanity that I see so deeply my need for our Savior!
I pray that you have been blessed today. I know this was not an easy read...it was really hard to write! However, I pray that you will be encouraged to hold onto your faith and hope in our precious Lord...He is always right by your side, no matter what you are walking through!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....like my marriage and my dear hubs!
God's girl, Pamela
I pray you are blessed today and can see that ONLY GOD can resurrect a VERY dead marriage!
After 20 yrs of marriage, I have learned that most every marriage hits a brick wall within the first 10-15 yrs that humanly speaking, seems impossible to overcome. These times usually come when you have small children...and that adds a stress of its own! But, what I have seen is that God usually allows these times to grow us up into Him and into who He is calling us to be. Some of you know, though, it is really hard to walk through those times!!!
I KNOW WE ARE NOT ALONE!!! If you are walking through a hard time in your marriage right now, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Not only is God right there, holding you every step of the way, but a lot of marriages around you have walked through something so similar. If you need help, please search out someone that you can talk to and lean on in order to possibly save your marriage and your sanity!
I'm not saying that every marriage is salvageable...that is simply not true. However, God's grace is there just for you to hang onto, no matter what happens in your marriage and your life! Knowing just what we have walked through, I have a soft spot in my heart for marriages and I would love to see them all continue...but I know that is not always possible. No matter what is going on in your life, you are in good hands as long as you are in God's hands!
Okay, now for my memory:
In the mid-90's, God began to reveal heart issues between dear hubs and I that we could either ignore and kill each other, or deal with and continue to love one another...and did it ever get rough to actually live in the same house!!!
Christmas 1994 - the girls were 4 and 1 and life seemed simple, not easy but simple. I knew what our days looked like and I loved being a Mom of young children. However, like I said earlier, God was beginning to reveal deep heart issues...and it hurt.
By late '94, I had realized that my dear hubs was running from the hand of God! I was also beginning to realize that my marriage could not survive without leaning on God and His word! One Sunday morning in January '95, I was getting me and the girls ready for church and hubs was sleeping soundly in our bed....and I do mean soundly! It bugged me that we were struggling to make it through the days together and yet he chose to sleep on Sunday morn...and that is where I found hope - in the community of church and digging corporately into God's word.
We lived in post housing at the time, a 1940's duplex that had a long hallway from which you could look from one end of the house to the other. Standing at my bedroom door, I could look down the hall and see all the way to the outside wall of the dining room with no obstructions. On the outside of the dining room wall was a small storage room connected to a carport. I know this is a boring description but if you can follow this, you will understand just how big God was on this particular day!
On this particular Sunday in January 1995, I was walking from my bedroom to the girls to begin getting them ready for church...only a few steps away....but before I could even get to their door, I watched as our wedding cross-stitch, made by my Mom, literally jumped off of the outside dining room wall! I heard the crash before I could move my feet down the length of the house - a very loud crash for a simple 8x10 photo frame! There was a picture right next to this frame that DID NOT MOVE at all! To this day, it is still a mystery to me how this particular decoration simply fell off the wall! We were all on the opposite side of the house and no one, not even the dog, was in the dining area.
When I made it to the mess on the floor, I realized that the glass had shattered into little tiny pieces....lots of them! I simply sat down and cried!!! The cross-stitch itself was fine, only the frame was broken...but it was not just broken, it was shattered. I thought, "This is what has happened to my marriage. Our marriage isn't just broken, it is shattered." The reality of that broke my heart into those same little pieces! As I sat there in my tears and sorrow, I felt God say, "Yes, this is what your marriage looks like and there is no way that you can just glue the pieces back together. But I can!!!"
Then God gave me a verse. It had been used in our wedding, along with many others, but now that we had been married for 6 yrs, it started to make sense in living daily life...not just a flowery verse at a wedding.
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.
As I went through that week, I found myself meditating on my verse. As a young bride, I had heard that verse warning others to not try to tear apart our marriage. That week, I began to see the verse in a different light...let man not separate. This didn't just mean others, it also applied to the two of us!!! I began to realize that if anyone could tear apart our marriage, it was us!!! Our selfishness, our past wounds, our stubborn pride! Those were the things we needed to guard against...things of ourselves!!!
Present day - we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary on Dec 27!!! I love this man more now than I ever could have imagined on our wedding day! It is truly a privilege to be his wife!
The road to this point was NEVER easy!!! We have both had to learn to give up those icky parts of our hearts and let God bring in the new attitudes that He had for us. Hubs now attends church with us and while it is not always perfect, he tries very hard to be the spiritual leader of our home. I could take the easy road and tell you what HIS problem was that almost destroyed our marriage but that would not be fair....he was not alone in that! I had some really deep wounds myself. Some places in my heart that God had to expose and heal and boy, did that hurt some days!
WE ARE NOT PERFECT!!!! We still have days that we struggle with those old hurts and attitudes! We still argue...sometimes selfishly! Please hear me, the only way that we could have made it here is with the hand of God guiding our steps! With God holding our hearts and our hands, we can give each other the grace needed to make it through those rough days!
The cross-stitch??? Well, I never did put it back together! It resides in one of those boxes in the garage. I know it is there!
Would I trade those struggles??? NO WAY!!! It is during these struggles that I have learned to lean even more on the arms of our Lord! It is because of my imperfect humanity that I see so deeply my need for our Savior!
I pray that you have been blessed today. I know this was not an easy read...it was really hard to write! However, I pray that you will be encouraged to hold onto your faith and hope in our precious Lord...He is always right by your side, no matter what you are walking through!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....like my marriage and my dear hubs!
God's girl, Pamela
January 27, 2009
25 Random Things
I have been tagged on Facebook so thought I would just go ahead and put this up here as well....kill those two birds with one stone, you may say!
1.I am still learning to lean on the arms of Jesus. Pretty sure this will be a lifelong process!
2.I count it a privilege to be my dear hubs wife.
3. I have loved every bit of being a Mom!
4.I love chocolate...I'm a true chocoholic!
5.I used to like picante sauce on everything...until I had baby #2, now I'm all about the sweet!!!
6.In my lifetime, I have lived in over 30 houses. I lived mostly in the country until I got married! Now, I drive through the "country" to breathe!!!
7.I had my first baby in a German hospital. I did love my midwife there, though!
8.I had my second baby in a military training hospital....vast difference between the two!
9.I delivered both sans epidural....not by choice!!!
10.I look more like my Mom's side of the family.
11.I married a true Texan...born here, raised here.
12.I love mountains...especially the Smokies!
13.I am a bit of an extrovert....depends on the situation!
14.I love to read.
15.I love to watch pro football!!! Go Cards!!!
16.I 'love' too many things!!!
17.I make greeting cards...I like to encourage people in their daily walk!
18.I have a friend that used to work for a high-end coffee place and she would give me a pound of coffee every so often, so now I am pretty much a coffee snob!
19.I love working with babies and early childhood education.
20.I am a messy!!!
21.I got married when I was 20 and have been married for 20 yrs!
22.I love my house! It is perfect for my family!
23.I am a romantic! Hopelessly!
24.I have to eat breakfast...otherwise, well you don't want to know.
25.I am a middle child and I'm from Tennessee...that should explain it all!!!
Y'all have fun! Stay warm and careful on the slick roads.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....
God's girl, Pamela
1.I am still learning to lean on the arms of Jesus. Pretty sure this will be a lifelong process!
2.I count it a privilege to be my dear hubs wife.
3. I have loved every bit of being a Mom!
4.I love chocolate...I'm a true chocoholic!
5.I used to like picante sauce on everything...until I had baby #2, now I'm all about the sweet!!!
6.In my lifetime, I have lived in over 30 houses. I lived mostly in the country until I got married! Now, I drive through the "country" to breathe!!!
7.I had my first baby in a German hospital. I did love my midwife there, though!
8.I had my second baby in a military training hospital....vast difference between the two!
9.I delivered both sans epidural....not by choice!!!
10.I look more like my Mom's side of the family.
11.I married a true Texan...born here, raised here.
12.I love mountains...especially the Smokies!
13.I am a bit of an extrovert....depends on the situation!
14.I love to read.
15.I love to watch pro football!!! Go Cards!!!
16.I 'love' too many things!!!
17.I make greeting cards...I like to encourage people in their daily walk!
18.I have a friend that used to work for a high-end coffee place and she would give me a pound of coffee every so often, so now I am pretty much a coffee snob!
19.I love working with babies and early childhood education.
20.I am a messy!!!
21.I got married when I was 20 and have been married for 20 yrs!
22.I love my house! It is perfect for my family!
23.I am a romantic! Hopelessly!
24.I have to eat breakfast...otherwise, well you don't want to know.
25.I am a middle child and I'm from Tennessee...that should explain it all!!!
Y'all have fun! Stay warm and careful on the slick roads.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....
God's girl, Pamela
January 23, 2009
When life hands you lemons, what do you do???
I know I said I would post this yesterday, but I ended up having Little Miss PD for 3 hrs longer than originally thought and after that...I just could not think anymore! So, sorry!!! But here it is!
I am just getting to 'know' Karabeth, a pastor's wife, from being part of the Wednesday meme sponsored by Lynnette and was VERY surprised to learn that she had given me an award for a blog post that showed great attitude/gratitude. This is so ironic to me because I can remember a day not too long ago that I would have been last on a list for great attitude/gratitude! Okay, so it has been 10 yrs or more but still, that hasn't been all that long.
Isn't it amazing, though, when God gets hold of our heart, not just a pastor preaching and convicting our mind or our parents yelling at us or a policeman giving us a ticket or getting demerits in school...well, y'all know what I mean! When the Holy Spirit zones in on a particular piece of my 'personality' and asks me to change...how can I say no??? (okay, so saying no might seem easier sometimes!)
That is what He did with my attitude...the stinky one! Now, as I am typing, I am concerned that I might just get a big head for confessing that I AM OVER THIS ISSUE so let me just say right now....I AM A SINNER SAVED BY GRACE and I still got a long way to go to look like Jesus!!! I still have my days where it is easier to complain, easier to yell, easier to just be icky...and those that know me, I am sorry for those days - please forgive me?
Anyway, thank you very much to Karabeth for making my day a little brighter and visiting my blog.
There are rules for posting this award and they are easy to follow, but follow you must! (see, I can still be bossy!)
1.Put the logo on your blog or post.
2.Nominate at least 10 who show great Attitude and/or Gratitude.
3.Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4.Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5.Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received this award.
Now that that is out of the way and you know a little more about me.... My nominees for the Lemonade Stand are: (in no particular order, of course!)
Marianne Johnson. An awesome woman of God with 3 very special children!
Micah Johnson. Marianne's oldest and a young mighty man of God!
Amy Haas. A friend of Marianne's that lost her youngest daughter last summer.
CaseyMay. A young lady that just blesses me to pieces with her love for our Lord!!!
Charity Lehmann. A lady that knows trials but knows Who holds her hand.
Larissa. One of my first blog friends. She is a Marine wife.
YAMS. Not sure how to give them this award, but they do deserve it. Melanie had a very rough Autumn but is on her way to full recovery!
Abigail Kraft. I'm just getting to know this young lady as well but her spirit through loss shows just how much she has learned to lean on Jesus.
Spring Fricks. This writer has done nothing but bless our family since we met in Dec. via blogworld!
Carolina McCurdy. What can I say? She is the most amazing woman of faith that I know. I can only wish I knew the Lord at 18 the way that she does. I could go on and on but drop by her posts and you will see what I mean! (yes, this is my daughter - my DD1)
I hope y'all can and will take the time to read through some of these blogs. God shines through in the lives of these ladies and I am blessed to be a part of their world...even if it is via computer!
Thank you for your patience, once again. Hope your weekend is blessed. If you get a chance, please pray for our church youth groups FOCUS weekend - that young people would be blessed and grow deeper in their walk with God.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....like blog friends, new and 'old'!
God's girl, Pamela
I am just getting to 'know' Karabeth, a pastor's wife, from being part of the Wednesday meme sponsored by Lynnette and was VERY surprised to learn that she had given me an award for a blog post that showed great attitude/gratitude. This is so ironic to me because I can remember a day not too long ago that I would have been last on a list for great attitude/gratitude! Okay, so it has been 10 yrs or more but still, that hasn't been all that long.
Isn't it amazing, though, when God gets hold of our heart, not just a pastor preaching and convicting our mind or our parents yelling at us or a policeman giving us a ticket or getting demerits in school...well, y'all know what I mean! When the Holy Spirit zones in on a particular piece of my 'personality' and asks me to change...how can I say no??? (okay, so saying no might seem easier sometimes!)
That is what He did with my attitude...the stinky one! Now, as I am typing, I am concerned that I might just get a big head for confessing that I AM OVER THIS ISSUE so let me just say right now....I AM A SINNER SAVED BY GRACE and I still got a long way to go to look like Jesus!!! I still have my days where it is easier to complain, easier to yell, easier to just be icky...and those that know me, I am sorry for those days - please forgive me?
Anyway, thank you very much to Karabeth for making my day a little brighter and visiting my blog.
There are rules for posting this award and they are easy to follow, but follow you must! (see, I can still be bossy!)
1.Put the logo on your blog or post.
2.Nominate at least 10 who show great Attitude and/or Gratitude.
3.Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4.Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5.Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received this award.
Now that that is out of the way and you know a little more about me.... My nominees for the Lemonade Stand are: (in no particular order, of course!)
Marianne Johnson. An awesome woman of God with 3 very special children!
Micah Johnson. Marianne's oldest and a young mighty man of God!
Amy Haas. A friend of Marianne's that lost her youngest daughter last summer.
CaseyMay. A young lady that just blesses me to pieces with her love for our Lord!!!
Charity Lehmann. A lady that knows trials but knows Who holds her hand.
Larissa. One of my first blog friends. She is a Marine wife.
YAMS. Not sure how to give them this award, but they do deserve it. Melanie had a very rough Autumn but is on her way to full recovery!
Abigail Kraft. I'm just getting to know this young lady as well but her spirit through loss shows just how much she has learned to lean on Jesus.
Spring Fricks. This writer has done nothing but bless our family since we met in Dec. via blogworld!
Carolina McCurdy. What can I say? She is the most amazing woman of faith that I know. I can only wish I knew the Lord at 18 the way that she does. I could go on and on but drop by her posts and you will see what I mean! (yes, this is my daughter - my DD1)
I hope y'all can and will take the time to read through some of these blogs. God shines through in the lives of these ladies and I am blessed to be a part of their world...even if it is via computer!
Thank you for your patience, once again. Hope your weekend is blessed. If you get a chance, please pray for our church youth groups FOCUS weekend - that young people would be blessed and grow deeper in their walk with God.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....like blog friends, new and 'old'!
God's girl, Pamela
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