July 22, 2008

This big ol' house

As I mentioned in my post below, I love my house! It was an answer to prayer 12 yrs ago and holds many memories of love, laughter and life. It is also BIG! The girls were small when we moved in and I wanted a place they could grow up in. Now, don't get me wrong, by current Dallas standards, it ain't so big...not even 2,000sf. But it is big enough for us!

However, the girls are at camp this week so it is just hubs and I wondering around in this big ol' house....and it seems HUGE!!! The puppies aren't too sure what to think about it all, they are just happy to always have a seat in the living room! (up on the furniture!!!)

See, yet another reason to be thankful for my house!

Another reason to be thankful today...it is hubs 40th birthday! I thought it would be our first one alone since his 21st but now it looks like after Miss PD goes home, we will have dinner with his parents. That is okay, though, since we didn't get to on his 21st...we were overseas!

I remember the first of his b-days we shared together, he was turning 18! We went to a really nice restaurant with his parents and Grandmother McCurdy. I also gave him 18 kisses for that birthday! Not sure that he would sit still for 40!!!

I am always amazed at the amount of time we have actually been together, and it is only by God's grace. Both of us came into this marriage with some really buried secrets, and those secrets almost tore us apart at the seams.

If you are divorced, I want to let you know that God's grace covers your situation when you give it to Him! I know there are times when there really is no other way...or when a spouse wants out, no matter what pain it causes others around them. I am only telling you my story, not the way it should be.

My story hurts! I can only love this 40 yr old man by the grace of God. If I held a grudge, I would not be here! I remember one day just desperately asking God if He still loved me, because I knew my hubs didn't and I no longer loved myself because life had worn me down!

You already know how it turns out, God did not leave us in the desert of pain. It was not instant deliverance, we had to walk through consequences of our sin and had to learn to truly love one another and live together. It took years! Thankfully, hubs is patient and a bit selfish...you see, he never wanted out of the marriage, he knew where his blessing was! It was me that could not stand the pain. Me, that could only see the walls between us. Me, that had to call upon God just to make it through an hour.

I really did not intend for this blog to be so long! I hope you can now understand a bit more about how thankful I am for the wonderful man God gave me. We began dating in Mar of '86 and married in Dec '88. We have lived in two different countries, 3 different states, 4 if you count the one overseas, and lived in 9 different cities. God has been faithful each step of the way. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

I pray that you have and will continue to find God faithful in every area of your life. Sometimes, it hurts! But nothing in my life compares to the hurt Jesus felt on the cross, I'm sure. He knew not only rejection, but horrible physical pain as well. He has already walked the road set before you, He only asks that you follow him. I am so preaching to the choir, I am still learning this truth myself.

Be blessed by the mighty hand of God today!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow....

God's girl, Pamela

2 comments:

Loved the Agape way said...

Pamela:
Your post touched my heart! What a beautiful story of commitment. I am divorced and your words were a blessing to me...thank you. Some people are very judgmental about the situation. Thank you for your gracious understanding. I certainly couldn't do any of it without my Lord Jesus!
Blessings to you,
Rose

Melissa said...

Dear Pamela,

Your love for the Lord is so evident. I'm smiling just reading about your thankfulness and blessings throughout the good and difficult in your life. Your writing has blessed me today! Thank you.

Thanks also for your comment on my blog last week about the devotions I wrote. The encouragement is uplifting and so appreciated.

Blessings,
Melissa Taylor