Before I begin, I want to say "Thank You" to Karabeth for giving me a blog award...this is my first and very unexpected!
I will list my nominees tomorrow. That way, I can come up with a full ten!
Our walk today begins almost 11 yrs ago just as Spring was coming to town. My Bunny was 4 yrs old and DD1 was in the neighborhood elementary school and Bunny and I walked to pick her up in the afternoons. This is when we took most of our 'nature hikes' together, just Bunny and me!
Our neighborhood is NOT level....our sidewalk is NOT level, neither are many of the other streets and sidewalks. There are not only places where the sidewalk slants, there are also cracks and places that have fully separated so that there is at least 2-3 inch difference from one slab to the other. Fun for teenage bicyclist, not for hurried Moms!!! And on this particular day, we were running late to pick DD1 up from school.
As we headed down our sidewalk, Bunny was not in a hurry at all! No matter what I said, or pleaded or even bribed, she would not go any faster. Somehow, I finally said the magic words and she began to move a bit faster. We walked about halfway down the street, me holding her little hand, when all of a sudden, her hand jerked out of mine! I turn around to see my precious little girl on her knees on the sidewalk! A broken portion of the sidewalk!!!
So, I pick her up and I begin dusting off the knees....she had scraped just far enough that some blood was showing through that last layer of skin. I was trying so hard to be gentle...but I was still in a hurry and she could tell it. I started to say "I'm sorry" as I put her down to continue walking to the school - she was too big to be carried - and she responds so sweetly, "It's okay, I forgive myself."
God stopped me in my tracks right there! "I forgive myself" I could so believe that God would forgive me of my sins and not hold them against me but I could not forgive myself! I realized this was exactly what I needed to do...forgive me!
Now, this child's name has a couple of different meanings...they say the way that we spelled it is a derivative of Leah which means weak eyes. I don't like that meaning and I was not naming her Leah so I looked up the two distinct portions of her name and I LOVE the meaning of them put together.....Meadow of Grace! And that so fits her!!! She is now 15 and is very forgiving and full of grace...when she wants to be! I have learned so much from being her Mom! I have learned how to slow down and forgive myself and be more willing to forgive others. I have learned that having extra energy means sometimes as a Mom I have to channel that energy...even when she really doesn't want me to! I have learned to let go of a lot of the Mommy guilt...because she is her own, independent spirit!
Because of my Bunny, I have learned to love a bit deeper!!!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....like my precious Bunny!
God's girl, Pamela